Honesty and openness works so well for you

11/08/2016

I just had to write and thank you for how you all handled the funeral of my mum, Anne Harryman.
Dad and I have been fortunate enough not to have organised a funeral for decades, so we were unsure what to do, and when. Were we meant to shop around? How do you find a reputable company? How much should it cost?
The hospital gave us a leaflet when we went to see them to get some paperwork, so that was a good starting point. Your advert in it was the only one that mentioned costs. I googled at home to try and get some other companies costs. Wow - were they coy! We arranged to see you, and for the sake of completeness, popped in to see a funeral director close to where dad lives first. Their 'basic' cost of about £1700 soon swelled once 'external disbursements' were included, and came in at about £3500 from what I remember, but was very confusing. The way we were spoken to, left us in no doubt that this was a business. Of course we understand that it is, but still, a bit of humanity goes a long way.
By comparison, our appointment with Jan was friendly, calm, thoughtful, honest, open and completely transparent. Dad felt he could choose not to make a song and dance of it, not because he's tight, but because mum was an unfussy woman and wouldn't have wanted, for example, a family gathering for the scattering of the ashes. I found this an amazingly brave decision, completely with mum's interests at heart - it didn't sit well with me, but I'm sure this is as she would have wanted, and I'm proud of him for honouring that. Mum and Dad were together for 70 years, he would know what she would want. To not feel pressured to add in extras, was such a relief. We were vulnerable to being up-sold, and appreciated your integrity and transparency. I think this honesty and openness is what works so well for you.
Your communication with us was great. Dad being totally deaf added an extra layer of potential problems, but I can honestly say that we both felt we were in the loop, in control and that you were guiding us every step of the way. Everything went to plan. We loved the service sheets, were delighted to see mum led by one of your team, up to the chapel, and felt her treatment was dignified and appropriate. The celebrant you chose, Linda Hodgson, was perfect for us. She could not have done more, and when she said she could organise the musical medleys within the service, I actually cried tears of relief at work as I'd been so stressed that I wouldn't be able to do it.
So now it's over, we can start to move on and get dad used to a life as a single chap. Mum's funeral was as we all wanted, non-religious, simple, personal and dignified. Being 3 weeks after her death was a blessing for us, we were over the really harsh sadness, and could celebrate what she was.
Thank you so much for helping us through this difficult time. Before I would say I could not understand anyone wanting to do your job. But now I've experienced what you can do for people, I have totally changed my view. When we were with you at the initial meeting, a man who had lost his 20 year old son a year ago in a RTA stuck his head round the door, and you said he regularly passes by, it was part of the process for him. How touching is that?
Thank you again,
Sarah Byfield