Terrible Communication

02/11/2021

Everyone told us that once we had a funeral director involved, it would be smooth sailing. We hoped this would be true as we had no experience of this and really struggled to know what was happening.
Firstly we struggled to make arrangements until the death was registered, causing delays to the funeral, meaning some people couldn\'t attend. We were left in the dark and had to struggle to find out if my Dad\'s body had actually been collected from the hospital.

We eventually got an appointment to make arrangements, I emailed before this to suggest dates and give details of the priest so they could try to have some tentative dates in place. We had to travel to arrange this so time was limited. When we arrived, most of our hour long appointment was spent with the person we met with phoning the crematorium and priest to try to arrange dates, which we did not need to be present for. This led to us rushing through a lot of the arrangements, and still not being entirely sure of what was happening. I had to chase things up a few times to get clarity.
We had made it clear we wanted to view my Dad before the funeral, and due to having to travel had suggested we do this on the day of the funeral. We were told this would be fine, but a couple of days before were told that \"nature had taken its course\" and they didn\'t suggest viewing. I cannot believe that we were not told that this could happen, as we would have arranged a viewing sooner had we known. I am sad that I didn\'t get to say goodbye to Dad.
We had mentioned that my Dad had an ex wife who may cause problems and that she wasn\'t to be allowed to interfere, yet somehow she managed to phone up and change the funeral notice.
Again, we weren\'t given an explanation on the day of what would happen. As the hearse arrived we were in the waiting room. My Dad\'s ex wife was able to meet the hearse and try to take over, with the funeral director not realising that she was not me, despite having previously met me.
I will say that the actual funeral was very good. everything was conducted with dignity, the flowers we had requested were perfect. I just wish that a lot of things had been communicated far better.